AN ANSWER TO THIS AGE OLD QUESTION: 
  WHO IS JACK SCHITT???? 

  The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response 
  when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." 

  Now you can intellectually handle the situation... Jack is the only son of 
 Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. 

  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep 
  & Schitt, Inc. 

  In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple 
  produced 6 children; Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. 

  Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. 

  After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later 
  married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted 
  to keep her previous name. 

  She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and 
  they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. 

  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and 
  subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding 
  announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. 
The Schitt-Happens children were, Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. 

  Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride. Piza Schitt. 

  So now if someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". You can correct them. 
  Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.